BIG FIND AT SLIEVE GULLION!!

LOCAL TRADER’S OUTRAGE AT PAVEMENT DESTRUCTION JUNE 28TH

A local businessman has been left aghast after discovering a large footprint at the front of his store. Declan McChesney, owner of Cahill Brothers in Hill Street could not have imagined what awaited him outside his store in the early hours of Monday, “Well, you’re not going to believe this but just as I was coming in to work yesterday morning, I looked down and there was this massive footprint in the beautiful new streetscape here in Hill Street.”

The pavement outside Mr McChesney’s store is due to be finished soon. This latest incident has added insult to injury regarding the footpath as Mr Mc Chesney says “These footpaths have been a real nuisance for sometime now and then, when they are finally finished in front of my shop, someone or something has gone and wrecked it – disgraceful!”

The shop owner suggests that it may be related to last week’s footprint find at Slieve Gullion: “Well, I did see it [the footprint at Slieve Gullion] and it certainly looked familiar and let’s be honest; being in the shoe trade, I do know my feet and it’s definitely none of the monsters that I deal with in here.”  This recent incident has lead to increased speculation that there may be a beast, friendly or otherwise; free to roam Newry and the surrounding area. Although Declan is irritated at the new footpath disaster and believes that there may be a monster-like species in the local area, he claims that it could actually be a friendly monster. He continues, “I know a lot of the dragons around here and none of them are bad. I reckon it’s somebody very nice looking for a wee cup of tea or even a bun.”

Currently, there is no definitive explanation as to whom or what caused the cracked pavement and the giant footprint at Slieve Gullion, or if they are even related but if they are, the people of Newry and Mourne are certainly miffed. As mentioned before, if you have any information on these incidents, please call the Ministry of Alternative Detectives on 028 3025 7885

BIG FIND AT SLIEVE GULLION JUNE 22ND

Newry and Mourne District Council have been left baffled by what appears to be extra-terrestrial footprints that were found at Slieve Gullion Forest Park near Meigh, in South Armagh.  They are appealing for anyone in the local area with any information to come forward.

A young family, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of reprisals, were visiting the new Newry and Mourne Council adventure playground when they found the enormous prints. Rather startled they ran from the scene and called the police when they got home.

In an attempt to solve the bizarre matter, some of the local Council Officials visited the area today. Similarly to the young family, they too found it to be a bit of a head-scratcher. Connor Haughey, Parks and Grounds Officer for Newry and Mourne Council claims, “It is interesting and shocking in equal measure. In all my years in this job, I’ve certainly never seen anything like it before.”

While the Deputy Lord Mayor, P.J. Mc Donald who was also at the scene states, “When I look at it, the first thing I think of is a dragon. It’s huge, it’s worrying and we have to find out what it is.” He continues, “Although we don’t know what it is exactly, we have to exercise caution until we can confirm what has caused this.”

Darren Rice, Ring of Gullion Officer, adds, “Dragons and dinosaurs are the first things that come to mind but it may be kids messing about. We also have herds of goats and deer here but to think that they could make such an imprint is ridiculous.” He concludes that the area is very much safe and that whoever made the tracks are friendly beings. In fact, “I’d encourage anyone to come down here and find whoever was responsible for this, themselves.”

If you have seen anything suspicious, please contact the Ministry of Alternative Detectives on 028 3025 7885